User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Coraline vs Donnie Darko- Epic Rat Battles of Horror Season 2
Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Epic Rat Battles of Horror. Today is for the first time, NOT a battle of deranged psychopaths! Today, even I'm not really sure what the connection it (o_O) but I'm pretty sure it's between two fucked up teens with serious family issues- Coraline, the paralel-world travelling young girl from the movie of the same name, battles against Donnie Darko, the schizophrenic teenager with serious family and mental issues. Special thanks to BTTF for finding a great opponent for Darko, and of course, thanks to Coupe for the title cards <3. There's really not much to say about this one other then I got it done way quicker then expected, and also, I milked both characters in full so there are little hopes of a rematch for this one xP Anyways, that's all I have to say, so you may begin reading. Cast Coraline - Catie Wayne Donnie Darko - Shane Dawson Instrumental- Dark Introduction Announcer: (0:18) EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR... VS! BEGIN! The Battle Donnie Darko: (0:32) The time has come to leave this girl as blue as her stupid hair, It’s the End of the World for a “kids movie” that gives children nightmares! You’ll wish you had stayed in Other World ‘cause to me, it’s apparent That I don’t give a shit about you, and neither do your parents! So you have problems? What kind of problems do you have? ‘Cause I have problems too! And I bet yours aren’t half as bad! This is no daylight hallucination! I’m witnessing a real-life slaughter! ‘Cause lyrically, you’re my daughter, so you can call me your Other Father! Coraline: (0:57) Wake up, Donnie, this isn’t a dream, you’re just a diseased shrew, You can tell your psychotherapist how bad I beat you, but nobody will believe you- Your performance was saddening, but maybe, if you stop your prattling, You’ll believe in time traveling, to go back and stop your rhymes from ever happening, For me, putting hoodie-wearing maggots in their casket has become a habit, Instead I'll crack this like a tennis racket, since his only friend’s an imaginary rabbit Hide there! Go and cry, swear, lie scared, but you’d better beware! This is no dream come true, Donnie- I am your worst nightmare. Donnie Darko: (1:22) You’re such a fuck-ass! Leave me alone! I’ll bash your brains until they’re mushy! YOUR only REAL friend’s a talking cat, but you’re the one who’s a little pussy! So follow that mouse back to an escape, your comfort is found in the unknown, And I see that in both medias, you never found love, and went on to die alone, You don’t have a CLUE what kind of shit I go through! You wouldn’t know what to do, And your movie adaption stays true, ‘cause your novel is stupid, too! So go back to being ignored! Time to sew buttons on the eyes of this whore, YOU wanted this war! YOU should have been careful what you wished for! Coraline: (1:47) Nobody likes you! You blowing it, so stop attacking me and get going, kid, I know that you know you’re losing- But you have a very strange way of showing it, You’re NOT my opponent! I don’t need to kick the ass of this white trash, And I swear it on your grave that I’ll burn you so bad, it’ll leave you with Writers Rash! You’re weak! And I don’t like being stalked by bunnies OR this psycho nerd creep! And if he could talk, I bet that mouse could rap better then this geek’s incessant squeaks! Sweep this sheep off his feet and leave him to wallow in his defeat, so go back to sleep, You’re not a superhero, Darko, you’re a sad, anti-social freak. Donnie Darko: (2:12) FUCK! Get out of my head! Your blood needs to be spread for what you’ve said! GAH! Now I’ll bring in Frank and THEN let’s see who’s manipulated and dead! Frank: (2:18) I’ve been summoned to bludgeon, and start punching this munchkin who’s always solemn, Prepare to run from the buttons of this verbal glutton faster than you run from all your problems, This dumb scum is feeling glum when she realizes she jumped the gun and feels horrible, Beat this Smurf like a cheap drum, have her under my thumb, our victory was miss Forcible '' ''When giving the jailbait boot to this crude brute of a prude who I conclude is completely screwed But the real question of the universe is, why do you wear that emo bitch suit? Coraline: (2:36) So now I’m facing the piece of crap who ruined your life? Great, here’s a re-cap, I’m an explorer- You’re a schizophrenic train-wreck whose whole world is a trap- Is this the end? It depends, will you lower defense and admit that you’re condemned? And one eye, you aren’t scary, I’ll ship you back to Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends And I won’t rebuild you, ‘cause tonight, my family will be eating rabbit once I’ve grilled you, And as for you, my rhymes will stomp you flatter than the Jet Engine that killed you! But I’ve wrecked this one, so go back to your room and just accept I’ve won If you don’t believe in a God, then you should not have stepped to one. Conclusion Who Won? Donnie Darko and Frank Coraline Note Still need suggestions for Krampus, Leprechaun and Nemesis. Lemme hear 'em! Category:Blog posts